Delete The "D Word"

Letting go of diet culture means opening space for food to offer us fuel, fun, family time, friendship, fellowship, and flavorful journeys.

By

Michelle Petties

 
Published July 31, 2026
Conceptual illustration showing the word DIET entering a paper shredder against a bright orange background
AARP (Getty Images)

It happens year after year.

The “D” word shows up like an old frenemy we can’t quite shake. “I’m going on a diet.” “I’m cutting out carbs.” “I need to get this weight off.” We’ve all said it, believed it, and tried it. But for most of us — especially us sisters — the “D” word has brought more disappointment than deliverance.

We’ve dieted our way through every decade of our lives. Time after time, we’ve lost ten pounds, gained back fifteen, and spent years chasing a version of health that always feels just out of reach. We’ve tried every trend: cabbage soup, keto, Atkins, intermittent fasting, detox teas, and that apple cider vinegar thing.

So why can’t we stick to it?

Diets are designed to fail. They teach us to distrust our bodies rather than listen to them. They tell us what to cut out, not what to understand. They focus on rules, not roots — and the root is where real healing begins.

I’ve gained and lost more than 700 pounds in my lifetime. This journey has taught me that what we need isn’t another restrictive plan, but a profound transformation in how we understand health, nourishment, and self-care.

For years, I thought I had a food problem — but what I really had was a story problem. Food was my comfort, my coping, my reward, and my ritual. Diets told me to change what was on my plate, but they never helped me change what was on my mind, in my heart, or in my spirit.

That’s why this year, I invite you to try something radical: Delete the D word. Cancel it.

We don’t need another diet. We need a new definition of health, power, and freedom. Instead of restriction, let’s explore ten powerful “D” words that will truly feed your soul:

1. Defy

Defy the odds. Defy the statistics. Defy the story that says you’re destined for diabetes, high blood pressure, or obesity just because your mama or grandma had it.

Yes, genes play a role — but so do stress, trauma, and environment. Defy the cycle of diet, relapse, regret, and repeat. Defy the belief that your worth is tied to your weight. Defy the systems that sell you quick fixes but never teach you self-trust.

2. Desire

Desire is sacred. It’s the spark that drives meaningful change.

Desire peace, balance, and ease — not punishment or perfection. Most diets fail because they’re built on deprivation, not genuine desire. They demand you push away pleasure, even though pleasure is intrinsic to being alive.

When you learn to honor your real desires — for rest, connection, joy, and genuine care — the false desires for chips, sweets, or second helpings naturally lose their grip.

3. Discipline

Discipline isn’t about control — it’s about consistency with compassion. It’s brushing your teeth, drinking water, moving your body, and saying no when you’re full.

Diets make discipline feel like suffering. But true discipline feels like freedom — the freedom to choose what truly serves you. When discipline is rooted in self-love and not fear, it becomes sustainable.

4. Discovery

Instead of asking, “What should I eat?” ask, “Why am I eating?”

Awareness is where real transformation begins. We don’t fall off diets because we’re weak, but because they never address the underlying reasons we eat when we’re not hungry.

For most, food is never just food — it’s a memory, a tradition, an identity, a comfort, and sometimes, a form of coping. When you begin to discover your food story — the people, places, and patterns that shape how you manage food — you can rewrite disempowering narratives.

5. Detox

First, detox your mind, then your body.

Cleanse yourself from diet culture and the destructive lie that thinness equals health. Detox from shame-based thoughts like, “If I were stronger, I’d have more willpower.” You don’t need fixing. You need freedom from noise, guilt, and constant comparison.

A true detox begins with cleansing your thoughts, not just your refrigerator.

6. Devotion

Devotion means showing up for yourself as deliberately as you show up at church on Sunday.

We’ll cook, clean, and care for others until we’re empty — but treat self-care as a luxury rather than a fundamental responsibility. Your health is sacred. Make your meals an act of reverence. Pray over your plate. Give yourself grace. Thank your body for carrying you this far.

7. Delight

Here’s one of the biggest reasons diets fail: they steal our joy.

They make food the enemy and pleasure the problem. But joy is medicine. Delight in fresh fruit, in color on your plate, and in feeling light and strong. Delight in the rhythm of walking, in music that makes you dance, and in moments that feed your soul.

When wellness becomes delightful instead of dreadful, it becomes a sustainable journey.

8. Determination

Progress is not linear. You’ll have victories, plateaus, and detours.

Diets make us think we’ve failed when we’re simply learning. Determination says, “Even when I fall, I’m still moving forward.” It’s steady, patient, and forgiving; transformation takes time.

You don’t need perfection. You need persistence.

9. Dialogue

Most diets silence your inner voice. They dictate what, when, and how much to eat — as if you can’t be trusted.

Your body is in constant communication. Through cravings, energy, sleep, and mood, it speaks your truth. When you start a loving dialogue with your body instead of waging war against it, you build trust. And trust creates healthy habits that endure.

10. Destiny

This is bigger than the scale.

Your health is your foundation, your inheritance, and your future. A strong, nourished body allows you to do your work, live your purpose, and love your people.

You’re not dieting — you’re aligning with your destiny. Your destiny depends on your wholeness, wellness, and wellbeing.

Let’s retire the “D” word that has kept us stuck, small, and starving — and replace it with words that feed our minds, bodies, and spirits.

Diets fail because they focus on control instead of connection. At best, they shrink the body but ignore the soul. Lasting transformation doesn’t start with deprivation. It begins with a new definition and a decision about who you are and what you truly deserve.

Michelle Petties is a Food Story coach, recovering food addict, and emotional eating expert who gives voice to what happens at the intersection of food, feelings, and everyday life. Her award-winning memoir, Leaving Large: The Stories of a Food Addict, is not a weight-loss book — it's a powerful reckoning with the past and a path toward healing and wholeness. A speaker and workshop facilitator, Michelle helps participants uncover their food truths and reclaim their power.