I Felt Guilty the First Time, But Now I Won't Break This Habit

About a month ago, I did a thing. Why I’m loving it (and you might too).

Published August 14, 2024

What's your favorite form of creative loafing or "doing nothing?" Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Here’s the thing I did: I laid on my living room floor and did nothing. I didn’t talk on the phone, surf the web, watch TV or listen to music. I just laid there and did absolutely nothing.

You know what happened? I felt immediate guilt. There were so many other things I could be doing: working, prepping dinner, taking my little furballs for a walk, heck, anything.

But I continued to lay there. After a few minutes, I felt what I can only describe as bliss. Or maybe serenity is a better word. I mean, the sense of calm I experienced was like sunshine dancing over me and ocean waves quietly singing in my ear. Seriously. It was so peaceful.

When I finally decided to hoist myself up and return to work, I got another surprise. Ideas were flowing. Words spilled out of my head effortlessly. Everything was hitting just right.

“I felt what I can only describe as bliss. Or maybe serenity is a better word. I mean, the sense of calm I experienced was like sunshine dancing over me and ocean waves quietly singing in my ear.”

I knew I was on to something. But for almost a week, I couldn’t bring myself to lay out on the floor again. Why? I felt like a lazy bum and knew other people would likely think the same if they saw me.

“There's a lot of internal messaging that we've received from the outside, either through seeing the [women] in our lives not rest, or because we have to work so hard to be on par with our non-black peers that it makes it hard to feel like we can stop and do less or do nothing,” says Vanessa Frierson Freeman, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and owner of Searching for Self Counseling and Consulting in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

But those moments of idleness have many benefits. I did some research and found that downtime can help reduce stress, improve physical well-being, boost mood and increase productivity.

So basically, doing a little bit of nothing (literally) has a big payoff. That’s why I’ve been adding it to my calendar ever since.

Here's how I do nothing (because it’s not as simple as it sounds)

Find your “nothing.” Mine is slugging it out on a rug. Or, sometimes, I camp out in the bathroom or chill in my car in silence. Your nothing may be something different. “Get to know yourself and figure out, ‘What is it that brings me joy? What promotes the feeling of relaxation in my mind and body?’” says Joy Pate, a licensed clinical social worker in Los Angeles, California. Don’t overthink it. Stare out the window, read, meditate, take a nap. Just do it.

Go small. I’ve found even short snatches of nothing are just as delicious as longer periods.

Use the lulls. Dr. Freeman recommends taking advantage of the natural pauses in your day rather than trying to find new opportunities to fit in breaks. For example, I wake up earlier than my family every day. I used to use the time to get a jump start on chores. Now, I drink tea and savor the quiet.

Do a digital pause. You wouldn’t believe how free I feel with a short 15-minute technology timeout.

Just breathe. Sometimes a deep breath or two is all that’s needed to melt away stress.

Get outside. Sit, walk, just be. The sun warming your skin, trees swaying in the breeze, birds chirping, fresh air. Being nurtured by nature is a beautiful thing.

Keep trying. Yes, even if you feel anxious or distracted at first. Dr. Freeman says to acknowledge those feelings and let them go. Then, focus on being in the moment, doing your nothing. Rest. Recharge. You deserve it.

What's your favorite form of creative loafing or "doing nothing?" Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Tamekia Reece is a Houston-based freelance writer who covers all things health, relationship and parenting. In addition to Sisters, she has contributed to numerous print and digital publications, including Woman's Day, Parents, Prevention.com, OprahDaily.com and GoodHousekeeping.com.