Allow Desire to Lead You to Your Destiny

In turbulent times, what does it take to step boldly toward the truest version of ourselves? We must make our dreams bigger than our doubts.

By
Published February 06, 2026
Thumy Phan

Turbulent times are forcing some of us to start over in our careers, finances, businesses, relationships, or other aspects of life. Others among us are choosing to walk away from turbulence, despite fear of what lies ahead. Still others are sitting in the uncertainty, making small, purposeful moves until the time is right to step out.

Whichever describes you, Sis, your doubt can be your driving force even when you’re scared. Of course, as a woman sheds an outdated version of herself, trusting who she’s becoming ¾ before the outlines of her brighter future are fully colored in ¾ isn’t easy.

“Many of us Black women have been trained to trust systems, employers, partners, church traditions—everyone but ourselves,” said Shantalea Johns, Ed.D., licensed therapist and assistant professor at Wayne State University in Detroit. “With our strength buried under years of other people’s expectations, we’ve lost our confidence to trust ourselves when we know it is time to walk away.”

But once we take the first step, the time between where we are and where we’re going is sacred.

“In that liminal space, slow down and observe without judgment,” said Christi Venable, CEO & Lead Therapist at SMILE Therapy Services in Washington, DC. “In that stillness, listen for your truth and then move with intention. “Walk away if you need to. Just make sure you walk toward something: your peace, your purpose, your power,” said Venable. “Trust that your next step is worthy, even if it scares you.”

Four steps for letting go, lightening the load and letting love and light in

Dr. Keisha Mack, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and co-founder of The MECCA Group in Washington, DC, uses a 4-step technique called “Strategic Disengagement” to remove barriers or oneself from a difficult situation: Name, Neutralize, Navigate, and Nurture.

Name what no longer serves you

“Identifying the boundary or unmet need is foundational. Without this awareness, you’re not healing,” said Mack, who is based in DC.

Samantha Gregory’s barrier, emotional exhaustion of being the caretaker, the fixer, and the strong one, propelled her to make the life-altering decision to cut off contact with her family to focus on her healing.

“Walking away was terrifying. Family, religious folks, and internal voices of guilt and obligation told me I was abandoning my responsibilities and being selfish,” she said. “But it was the only way to truly begin living.”

Gregory, 54, a former technical writer in Waldorf, Maryland, traveled the world, reconnected with herself, and reclaimed her joy. Once she learned that love doesn’t mean self-abandonment, she found freedom, fulfillment, and joy by breaking generational patterns and choosing herself over old expectations.

“Healing is hard, but staying stuck is harder. You don’t owe anyone your peace or your life,” said Gregory, who relocated to a new city, built a business as a burnout recovery coach (samanthagregory.com), and is preparing to relocate internationally.

Neutralize guilt with self-love

For more than 20 years, Dr. Eugenia “Jeannie” Jacobs, a Houston-based OB/GYN, was honored to be a part of the most intimate moments of people’s lives, but she stopped being present in her own life somewhere along the way. And she deeply regretted the hours and family events she missed.

When violence against health care workers escalated during the pandemic, Jacobs boldly walked away from the weight of it all. She now delivers a different kind of light that ignites inspiration to live unapologetically and with intention.

“I wanted my children to see a whole mother—joyful, creative, and emotionally available,” said Jacobs, 54. She had no grand plan, just the peace of choosing herself despite many people trying to talk sense into her.

That peace is the foundation of her brand and platform, Justjeanniejacobs.com, which showcases “Elevated Living, Without the Overwhelm.” Through it, she’s redefined her success by pouring into other women through lifestyle, home, fragrance, and storytelling. It also enables Jacobs to become fully present and gain the clarity, purpose, and freedom she sought.

“Don’t wait for a breakdown to reclaim your life,” she said. “If the whisper in your heart gets louder than the noise around you, listen. Walking away isn’t giving up—it’s rising up.”

Navigate your exit with care

Mimi Brown was a leadership development consultant at a major utility company with an excellent reputation, her peers’ respect and an ambitious fire. When she asked to shift from delivering leadership training to being a leader, the response dimmed her spark. Instead of feeling seen or supported, she felt dismissed and out of place.

“It was like the air got sucked out of the room,” said Brown, 41, who lives in the Detroit metro area. “I was done shrinking, asking for permission, and waiting for someone else to see my value. My dad wanted me to stay put and play it safe, but that would have cost me me.”

Fueled by knowing her authenticity would never be welcome, Brown devised a plan to leave on her terms and focus on growing through the fear.

“I built a new rhythm—learned how to manage variable income, created structure in my days, and trusted that the next gig would come,” said Brown. She learned she’s her own safety net and built a business, ampupsucces.com. Via her website, she offers sales training and leadership development to women, aligning with her trademarked motto, “Own Your Swag.”

“You don’t need anyone to co-sign to cash in on your purpose,” she said. “Just move, even if you’re scared.”

Nurture what’s next

Removing yourself doesn’t have to mean a dramatic exit,” said Johns. “Sometimes it means detaching emotionally before you leave physically, choosing silence over explaining, resting over proving, and saying no to roles that no longer align.”

But waiting can be scary, too, especially when waiting for someone else’s next move to make yours. Large employers such as Nike, Amazon, Meta, FedEx, and Citigroup have announced this year that they’ll be cutting their workforces, leaving some people feeling stuck in limbo.

Mack recommends creating a Personal Peace Plan. “Choose three non-negotiable habits that bring you clarity and calm,” she said. “It could include mindful breathing, movement, faith-based reflection, or professional support.”

“Starting over isn’t failure. It’s sometimes painful and often isolating. But don’t rush it,” said Venable. “Remove the barriers one layer at a time. From there, rebuild your life choice by choice. Transition is not just a bridge; it’s a becoming,” she said.

Pamela M. McBride is an award-winning freelance writer with hundreds of published articles on career management, leadership development, Diversity & Inclusion, military life, health and wellness, culture, and lifestyle topics. Her work has appeared in Essence Magazine, Black Enterprise Magazine, Upscale Magazine, Military Families Magazine, and Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marine Corps Times. Pamela co-authored The Mocha Manual to Military Life: A Savvy Guide for Wives, Girlfriends and Female Service Members and Work It, Girl! The Black Woman’s Guide to Professional Success. She is an honoree at the 2025 Black Authors Festival and serves on the Armed Services Arts Partnership Alumni Board. Learn more at PamelaMcBrideOnline.com.